You would think that I would decide to start this challenge after purchasing some extravagant luxury item, that I would give myself one last splurge to purchase that designer handbag I’ve been eyeing (It’s a Henri Bendel if you were wondering) or stock up on skinny jeans in every color just in case mine get ruined in the next 12 months. Well it wasn’t a new designer purse (goodbye forever you sweet satchel) and if I end up ruining all of my denim this year, I guess I’ll just have to finish this challenge in comfy pants (anything considered to be stretchy and inappropriate for brunching).
Well folks, I am sad to say that I did not go out with a bang, but with a whimper. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
You see guys, in Texas, we don’t get much of a winter. We basically get a bunch of 30 degree days that tease us of having a winter. This is usually a two month song and dance routine (normally in November and December) and then when January hits it’s rain and sleet and wind and nastiness. I mean it’s not 0 degree temps and our pipes never freeze, but for a Texas girl who doesn’t do cold, this is unbearable.
So what was my VLP (Very Last Purchase) you ask?
Well I’ll give you three hints:
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- They’re practical
- They’re warm
- They the most basic thing a basic bitch could own
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If you guessed UGG Boots…you would be wrong. But only half wrong.
For a girl who is trying to be thrifty, the voice of reason in my head kept saying “You do not need to spend $160 on furry sherpa boots that you will only wear one month out of the year tops!” And to her credit, that voice is right. So like any good basic gal (do people still say basic? I don’t know, I’m not hip to new age lingo) I popped open a new tab on Chrome and went to the only place I knew wouldn’t do me wrong…Target.
Oh Target, how I love you…you money sucking, dollar spot enticing, giant bullseye right into my soul Holy Land of debt. Did you know that one year for Lent I actually gave up shopping at Target? It was my proudest and yet my saddest moment knowing that would be the ultimate sacrifice for atonement. For a gal with size 11 feet (same size as Paris Hilton, and that is the only thing I have in common with Paris Hilton I might add) Target has long been my go to for footwear since they are one of the few cheaper places to carry the size. So for a fraction of the cost, and with my size still in stock, I decided to scoop up a pair of $35 Universal Thread knockoff UGG Boots. Black. Size 11. Free Shipping included (woo-hoo).
To make things even better, I even had a coupon I could use to bring the price down lower. I am not a coupon queen by any means but there is always a little part of me that when I get to use a coupon, I feel like an adult who’s got her shit together. Until I realize that what I just bought was a useless item that I didn’t really need. Hence, this year long challenge of retail abstinence.
I know that this wasn’t the most thrilling purchase one could make as her bon voyage to shopping gift, but I figured boots were better than a Bendel. And they will go perfect with my comfy pants. But please, if you see me on the streets, don’t call me out for wearing FUGGs (Fake UGGs). My Basic Bitch card might get revoked.
